Tuesday, August 3, 2010

On Top of the World!

I'm trying to think of someone who would truly understand what my recent weight loss means. Not just someone who was heavy, and lost a lot of weight, no not that, but MY personal struggle. Someone who watched me struggle, and knows how much this meant to me to lose this weight. I've been with my husband for 5 years, have had 3 kids with him, and he has definitely seen every part of me inside and out. He's seen me at my thinnest (since gaining the 80+ pounds I gained, not my thinnest in life), and he has seen me at my heaviest, when no one else has. He should understand more than anyone. He is just preoccupied with work it's not satisfying when I tell him. I don't know why other than that, and he's a man he is thin as hell. He is very proud of me, don't get me wrong. I love the comments he makes, and how it makes me feel trust me. Maybe I just want to shout it and everyone be in awe, "I DID IT!". I'm not to my goal yet, but I'm so close. Closer than I've ever been before... 36lbs close. I lowered my goal also, so technically I'm even closer to what my original goal was. (I lowered my goal weight to give me a healthy "normal weight" BMI.)

I am no longer 80lbs over weight. I'm no longer 200 or above. 220lbs is now a number I will never see on the scale. I am only 36lbs over weight. I am no longer THAT FAT. I feel great, and think I look a million times better, but I still have a ways to go. This belly is going to be a killer to get rid of. I'm just tickled, and so excited to get to my goal weight.

Though let me tell you... I'm soooo mother effing sick of dieting!!!! UGH! I don't even know how I do it anymore, I feel like a drone. 36lbs Nikki 36lbs... so close. I can do this.