On Top of the World!

I'm trying to think of someone who would truly understand what my recent weight loss means. Not just someone who was heavy, and lost a lot of weight, no not that, but MY personal struggle. Someone who watched me struggle, and knows how much this meant to me to lose this weight. I've been with my husband for 5 years, have had 3 kids with him, and he has definitely seen every part of me inside and out. He's seen me at my thinnest (since gaining the 80+ pounds I gained, not my thinnest in life), and he has seen me at my heaviest, when no one else has. He should understand more than anyone. He is just preoccupied with work it's not satisfying when I tell him. I don't know why other than that, and he's a man he is thin as hell. He is very proud of me, don't get me wrong. I love the comments he makes, and how it makes me feel trust me. Maybe I just want to shout it and everyone be in awe, "I DID IT!". I'm not to my goal yet, but I'm so close. Closer than I've ever been before... 36lbs close. I lowered my goal also, so technically I'm even closer to what my original goal was. (I lowered my goal weight to give me a healthy "normal weight" BMI.)

I am no longer 80lbs over weight. I'm no longer 200 or above. 220lbs is now a number I will never see on the scale. I am only 36lbs over weight. I am no longer THAT FAT. I feel great, and think I look a million times better, but I still have a ways to go. This belly is going to be a killer to get rid of. I'm just tickled, and so excited to get to my goal weight.

Though let me tell you... I'm soooo mother effing sick of dieting!!!! UGH! I don't even know how I do it anymore, I feel like a drone. 36lbs Nikki 36lbs... so close. I can do this.

The Law of Making New Friends through a Playgroup

Ahh the trials and tribulations of finding a play-date group to not only fit your child(ren), but to fit you as well. As I have posted about this before, making friends as an adult, this is very hard to accomplish! This year, however, I learned it's really not at all. It just requires a little bit of effort... on YOUR part (your being the person in place of looking for friends, like myself).

Living in Central Phoenix, where it wasn't a family oriented suburb, but yet an urban city, there were no friends to find. So, to my excitement, when we relocated to a West-side Phoenix neighborhood I was THRILLED at the idea of updating my profile on meetup.com, and finding a new "mommy" group, because at this stage it was for mommy more so than my three kids. And I did just that!

What I found was an amazing group, welcoming, friendly, kids in similar age, women in similar situations, work-o-holic husbands (so we could stay home), crazy kids, and not enough money for the necessary martinis to get us through. I found women who liked my company, as I did theirs. I felt accepted.

So, why is it I just now found a group I connected with? Is it really because I didn't connect with the groups I have joined in the past (shortly after having the twins)? I was home one night talking to my husband, and I told him I realized what it is! I'm older, my kids are older. I'm not a 23 year old new mom trying to fit in with 30 year old new, or experienced moms. However, for as much as I thought that had to be the reason, that's not it at all. The reason is, I had been so deprived of socialization, I jumped into this new group full force! I attended every single meet-up event, participated as much as possible, went on the message boards daily, found members on Facebook, added them, and commented on their comments. They were forced to love, and want me... they had no choice. I was in their face. (Luckily, I'm pretty easy to love, I think ;-) Come to find out this is what it's all about, being involved. Until you have been friends for a long time, you cannot go weeks, or months without seeing someone, and expect there to still be the same closeness when the relationship is so new. Not only that, but to "groups" specifically, you cannot join one not attend meet-ups, and expect to have the same closeness as the women who saw each other the day before, and the day before that, etc... I am not saying you must attend every single meet-up, or even be super active forever for that matter. I am, however, saying that you must attend several in the beginning to build that trust, and foundation among one another. The beginning being about the first 3 months from the time you join, and participate in my opinion, but I am no expert!

My theory is, forget about cliques, forget about not fitting in. We all have one big thing in common, we'll get along somehow, we're all mother's learning as we go. So, clique-shmique... no, but in order to feel connected, you MUST participate. I don't care how old you are, how many kids you have, whether you stay home, or work, whether you wear make-up or not, wear trendy clothing, or sweats and tees, if you do not see your new found friends on a regular basis, they cannot be your new found friends. It's just reality. (An additional reality is, you have to friendly, nice, non-judgmental, because if you're not than you have bigger problems that just finding friends.) You cannot be friends with people you do not spend time with. When you join a group, and feel left out, think about that, because the girls you may accuse of being "cliquey" just have more to talk about. They see each other on a regular basis, and conversations carry over to the next play-date. I can say this, because I've been on both sides of the fence.

Exhausted

I'm exhausted, and just want a vacation. The End.

3 days short of a year later...

I fell off the face of blog world, and I have no idea how it happened. Lots of changes, so where were we? Last June was like another world for me. Our business, that had just opened, is now over a year old, and doing extremely well. So well in fact that we are in the works of opening store number 2. Just sent our broker the financial statements last week. Working out the kinks, and then back to disappearing husband it goes! He's been home a lot more lately, but that's all about to go back to normal soon. We moved to a newer and improved house in February. My younger sister moved in with us in January. This is the main reason I got to move into the new and improved house really, and it was welled planned on my part trust me. Would you believe the husband and I actually missed the old shit hole house for awhile?! People are just never satisfied, are they? Creatures of habit I tell ya. Then Little Miss promptly turned two on February 1st, which was also moving day. She conked out long before the frosting was put on the cake. I have a picture of a sleeping 2 year old on the couch, and an untouched cake on the counter. That was the extent of any birthday celebration for her unfortunately. Next year we'll go all out, and actually let her have some cake though I promise!

I'm contemplating that this next subject deserves a post of it's own, but since we're here already... The biggest, and best news (for me personally) is I have now, as of today, lost 55lbs! Not only is that a feat in itself, but this is the biggest victory of all, I am under 200lbs! After 8 years, almost a decade of diets, tears, sweat, maybe a little blood I am FINALLY under 200, and never going back!

And the Little Miss is up, screaming. (Did I mention she is two?) Maybe this is why it's been a year...