Friday, April 17, 2009

I have a husband, I swear.

My husband as of last Monday became a business owner. He opened up a retail store on the west side of town. He has been MIA since. I think he still exists, but I have yet to see proof. He's gone ALL THE TIME. I miss him, and I miss my brain. I've lost my mind, and it must be with the hubby.

He is always out doing things for the store, and soon (once the doors open) he will be AT the store. I use to complain that he was never home when he worked a 9-5, but worked over-time. He was always home for dinner, and bed-time routine, and every weekend. His over-time was 30 minutes here, maybe an hour every once in awhile. I'm looking toward a future of no dinner with the hubby for the next year unless I eat at 9pm. Putting the kids to bed by myself, every single night. Having to explain to them that daddy is at work, and that is why he can't tuck you in, read you a story, or give ni-night kisses. It breaks my heart. It also drives me insane, because he was my helping hand at dinner time, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories, and tuck ins. He kept them out of my hair while dinner was being finished up, or I was doing dishes. He's my partner, and I desperately miss him, and it's not even bad yet. He will be gone every night soon. The only day we get is Sunday. And I expect a lot of outside errands will need to be done this day.

Instead of focusing on the fact that I will soon be a single mommy. I try to focus on how wonderful my kids are, and how fortunate I am to have a husband willing to bust his ass so that I can raise our children. How much this will make our life easier in the long haul. How amazing my husband is for reaching for his goals, and achieving them. But I'm not perfect. For moments that I need him, and he isn't here I completely forget how awesome he is, or how awesome the kids are. I curse him in my head, and want to throw things. I often whisper to myself that if I wanted to raise kids by myself I would have, but that I chose to be married with kids not alone. Then I take a deep breath and try to remember the good. But for a few moments everyday I curse my MIA husband.

I will never know how he sold me on the idea of owning our own business equaling him being home more. Having kids rots your brain.


  1. I think your hubby's time away from home will is just a breif moment in your life. You really need to support him and encourage him and give him the time he needs to take care of his family. I know it's hard; I've been there before. It will pay off in the end. Be sure that you do not complain and make the time he is at home pleasant, he will be so appreciative!!

  2. Great advice, and I try to remind myself of it ALL THE TIME. I'll admit I'm not the best, but I definitely do a good job by making sure he doesn't feel like all I do is nag when he is home. I try to be chipper & happy whenever he gives me that look and says "I have to go..." kind of thing. And I just smile and say ok, I love you, have a great day! Even better, he loves to play xbox when he is home and instead of nagging him (to spend time with us instead) I play with him! Even though I have 8million things to do instead, nothings more important that sometimes doing what he wants to do on his off time too. And I know I hate to do all my fave things alone, so why should he. I'm a lucky girl, but I think he's pretty lucky too.