Why does my third child actually feel like my first? Why do I feel like I've never done this before, which inevitably makes me feel like I am doing it all wrong?
It hit me yesterday afternoon, because this is my first time doing this. When the twins were just about 7 months old, mommy went back to work (that would be me, yes). Someone else dealt with my kids for onwards of 9 hours a day Monday through Friday. Not only that, but shortly after returning to work we lost our house, and moved in with my in-laws. So, I had live-in babysitters also. However, the main thing was that I didn't get off work until 5pm, left the sitters by 5:30pm, home by 6pm. Feed the boys, played or bathed, and then put them to bed. They were always amazing sleepers. Never needed to be rocked, never went to bed with a bottle, promptly switched to sippy cups at 12 months no longer needing bottles, and never even had to decide whether I should try CIO (crying it out) because they never cried. I was blessed (or maybe just in for a horrible awakening with my next baby, yes?). Sometimes I'm sad, because I feel like I missed a good year of their life from about 7 months to 18 months. I really don't remember much. A majority of our belongings were in storage, I wasn't on the computer much, and I hardly took photos. A good chunk of the twins early toddlerhood is missing because of this. I'm making it up for it now, that's for sure. I enjoy every minute with them and every milestone. I laugh, because I thought two's were hard, and people say three's are harder, and I'm having more fun now with them than I am with my one year old daughter.
My daughter... my princess. My sweet, sweet pumpkin. I love her to death. I love to kiss her, hug her, hold her. I didn't care that she never slept through the night as an infant. I embraced my alone time with her at midnight. She is my last, and unfortunately, I cannot change my mind on that decision as it is made permanent by tubal ligation (note: for future post why I made that choice and how I'll always regret it). However, she has recently become the biggest pain in the butt I have ever had to deal with. I've ruined her that's for sure. Always giving into to every little cry of hers, always giving her a bottle when she woke in the middle of the night even at 11 months.