Monday, March 9, 2009

My wieght loss saga

My battle with weight loss... could be a blog in itself. Unfortunately, it would be repetitive, and boring. So, I don't subject you to that kind of suffering, I only talk about it when I need to.

I have dealt with weight issues my entire life. However, only actually beginning 7 years ago did I have a problem. Throughout my childhood I was just bigger than most girls. Being 5'7" didn't help, but I also have an athletic build, not a small or petite frame. Even when thin I have many curves. Seven years ago I managed to eat enough Taco Bell to gain 95lbs in one short year. I went straight from my thinnest to my heaviest. Now, I could blame the Nachos Bell Grande, or I could also blame my addiction to ephedra, and my oh-so-healthy diet of nothing but 1 large Jamba Juice a day my entire senior year of high school for the reason I ballooned to a plump 232lbs during my 2nd year out of high school. Regardless of why, it still happened, and I am still here, 7 years later, paying for it. In the past 7 years I have flung hopelessly into the arms of every crash diet, as well as hopelessly failed. I'll lose the initial 10-15lbs, sometimes even 20lbs, but then gain it all back and then some.

I plateau typically at 220lbs, and it took 4 years to get below that. Months before meeting my husband 4 years ago I had finally broke 220lbs. I was 206lbs. Obviously, I'm glad, but what in the hell was I thinking moving in with a man while trying to lose weight and on a record!?! Someone, pleeeeeeease tell me! (We all know relationships make fat people fatter.) Getting pregnant (with twins!?) was the end of me. While being a heffer I somehow managed to maintain a nice looking stomach. Let's just say that is no longer a quality I boast about, neither my boobs.

After having the twins, luckily, I quickly returned to my typical 220lbs. Fluctuating between that and the 230's was normal for me. Then when they were 7 months old I went back to work, and started Medifast. I lost 16lbs before finding out I was pregnant again shortly before the twins first birthday. I was heartbroken all my recent efforst were once again a bust. Even though I swore to keep my weight gain to a minimum, my precious bundle of joy had other plans. My youngest daughter made sure I had undeniably strong cravings for all things chocolate and sugar, while residing in my ever growing womb. The only thing healthy I craved were oranges, and I still believe the excessive amount I ate made them unhealthy. Luckily, however I kept the weight gain to a non excessive level of about 40lbs. Had she taken the 3 weeks extra she was suppose to, I'm sure it would have easily been 90lbs by 40 weeks gestation.

After Kinsey, however, I was not able to lose it. I was at home with 3 under 2, my husband working 2 jobs, struggling to breastfeed, and fighting postpartum. Weight and weight loss were far from my mind (for once). Kinsey finally being a few months old, me getting into my routine with having 3 children to care for, as well as a husband, I finally decided to join Weight Watchers... for 6 weeks.

In 6 weeks at WW I was able to lose 13lbs. Then why only 6 weeks you ask, because that's how long our tax return money lasted (for our things-we-could-live-without budget), as well as WW's special promotion. Not only was I no longer able to afford going to the weekly meetings, my weight loss started to diminish, as well as my motivation. Slowly I gained the 13lbs back, as well as 10 more. Then the holidays came, my marriage was hitting a rough spot, and I was beginning to find myself often depressed over these things. Let's not forget, all the while, I am trying to raise my kids to be happy, confident, and healthy human beings.

... to be continued.

No comments:

Post a Comment